Tag Archives: Family

THE IDEAL CHRISTIAN FAMILY

The month of May is our Family Month. We will be considering the Faces, Facets and Facts of family units, and, family life with the study of the earthly family of Jesus Christ as the model of the ideal Christian home.  We had a series of teachings on the subject of The Family, in our Bible Study, in the months of February and March. So, we will be treading on a familiar ground.

A family is any group of people who live together, related by blood or marriage, especially parents and their children.  Those who are bonded together by a common faith are also called a family. Christians, through faith in Christ, are members of the family of God – John 1:12

The interaction of the members of the family – father, mother and children, produces family values. The society itself mirrors the sum total of the values of the constituent family units. Whatever change, therefore, that is desired in the society must start with the families and the change desired in the families must start with the individual members.

Families have a common ancestor, a common heritage as well as common characteristics that distinguish them from others. Jesus had an earthly family (Mark 6:3) Learning about Jesus family will draw us closer to Him and enhance our appreciation of God choosing an ordinary human family to nurture Jesus during His childhood.

The father is the male head of the family; the man in marriage. God counts on him so much for the success of the family. He is given much preeminence that through him the family is defined and described. He is the symbol of authority, and protection.

These can be said of Joseph, the earthly father of Jesus:
–  he was tolerant and understanding – Mathew 1:18 -20
–  he was sensitive to the Spirit – Mathew 1:20-24
–  he exercised self control; Joseph didn’t see his wife until Christ was born – Mathew 1:25
–  he put spiritual values above self interest.
–  he was obedient to divine instruction – Mathew 2:21
–  he taught his children true worship – Luke 2: 41-50

The Mother is the female partner in marriage. She is the manager of the home. Her influence on family life is enormous. She molds the children, models them after the man and makes or unmakes her man.

Mary was the earthly mother of Jesus (Luke 1: 33-35. )
– she was courageous to accept God’s will – Luke 1:38
– she valued Spiritual privileges
– she endured disgrace and risked death – Deuteronomy 22:23-24
– she had faith in Jesus.
– she dutifully followed Jesus till He was fulfilled

Children are offsprings and fruits of the womb. They are a unifying factor. Jesus had a humble beginning as a child,  He grew up with other children in the family. These can be said of His childhood:
–  Jesus had a humble beginning Mathew 8:20
–  Jesus was subject to His parents – Luke 2:51
–  Jesus managed to live with his half brothers and sisters.
– Jesus put the mother in care of John the beloved
– Jesus brothers were unbelievers till He died – Mark 3:21
– Jesus did not put Mary in their care but with John the beloved
–  Although they were unbelievers, Jesus did not reject them
– Jesus brothers were not by the Cross
– Jesus brothers exercised faith in Him only after resurrection
– Jesus humility and accomplishments changed them.
– they were in the group that met in Jerusalem before the Pentecost – Acts 1:14

The ideal Christian family is the one with the attributes of Christ.

Raising a Total Godly Family in times like this

And I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites pots full of wine, and cups, and I said unto them, Drink ye wine. But they said, We will drink no wine: for Jonadab the son of Rechab our father commanded us, saying, Ye shall drink no wine, neither ye, nor your sons for ever: Neither shall ye build house, nor sow seed, nor plant vineyard, nor have any: but all your days ye shall dwell in tents; that ye may live many days in the land where ye be strangers. Thus have we obeyed the voice of Jonadab the son of Rechab our father in all that he hath charged us, to drink no wine all our days, we, our wives, our sons, nor our daughters; Nor to build houses for us to dwell in: neither have we vineyard, nor field, nor seed: But we have dwelt in tents, and have obeyed, and done according to all that Jonadab our father commanded us.  Jer. 35:5-10, 18-19

The generation like the sons of Rechab exists today as discovered in certain Christian homes where you still find their children boys and girls getting married at the of 27-32 as virgins. As a pastor I have joined many in holy wedlock in recent years with these great testimonies from the spouses. We have recorded genuinely converted sons and daughters to God with a total departure from their old lives of sinfulness. What can be the secret of such families and children? I discover the secret in five cardinal things:

  1. Faithful family altar
  2. Purposeful family life
  3. Exemplary family life
  4. Godly discipline life
  5. Painstaking investment life

We shall discuss each of these points below:

  1. FAITHFUL FAMILY ALTAR

The phrase faithful family altar means a well planned structured family Bible Study, worship and prayer time. It is called faithful because it is strictly adhered to. It is not off and on thing but constant and maintained. It is amazing how few families really take this seriously and practice this routinely. It is the best guarantee to have Christian children with good moral standards that do not drift through the teen years; to have a family that has a witness for Christ in the community, and to have a family that takes the church seriously and enjoys going to all the services. BUT MANY FAMILIES PREFER CIRCULAR EDUCATION (SCHOOL) TO FAMILY ALTAR. It ought not to be so. Please, let us read – Deut. 6:4-7.

What is the purpose of the family alter?

  1. To worship God together and learn more of His ways. We sing praises, worship and learn that God is the creator and only Him must be worshiped.
  2. To hear God’s word and to live by it. Home is the best place to read the bible. Ask question and practice it. In this days when technology has removed Bible in our society, we should install it in our homes.
  3. To establish the family in the faith, personal convictions and doctrine. Children and young people need convictions to stand up against their peers. They must know God personally and know what they believe and why. Don’t protect them but equip them to face this technologically satanic controlled world. The home is the best Bible school.
  4. To pray over family problems and needs, burdens the children may have, and that they have confidence in God that answers prayer in the everyday things of life. All the members of the family have personal needs. It would be good if they could learn to share them openly and take them before the Lord together. Dad, mummy, children needs should be prayed on.
  5. To pray and intercede for others such as the pastor, sick folk, unsaved loved ones, the neighbours, friends, church etc. Children who can learn to pray openly at home will have no problem praying publicly in the church as they grow.

Your family altar could be made more interesting by making it short, allow questions, allow participation, discussion and Holy Spirit to lead always.

  1. PURPOSEFUL FAMILY LIFE

A purposeful family is a family that is raising children with a purpose and future in mind. This is what we see in the life of Abraham. God spoke about him in Gen. 18:19 “For I know him, that he will command his children and his household after him and they shall keep the way of the Lord to do justice and judgement; that the Lord may bring upon Abraham that which he hath spoken of him”. You must have a purpose as a family and for each member of the family. This is possible through this five steps.

  1. Define the purpose of your family -ie what you stand for. The husband and wife must define it before the arrival of the children, it must be communicated to the children also Rechab define this purpose to the children. Jer. 35:5-10 “And I set before the sons of the house of the Rechabites pots full of wine, and cups, and I said unto them, Drink ye wine. But they said, We will drink no wine: for Jonadab the son of Rechab our father commanded us, saying, Ye shall drink no wine, neither ye, nor your sons for ever: Neither shall ye build house, nor sow seed, nor plant vineyard, nor have any: but all your days ye shall dwell in tents; that ye may live many days in the land where ye be strangers. Thus have we obeyed the voice of Jonadab the son of Rechab our father in all that he hath charged us, to drink no wine all our days, we, our wives, our sons, nor our daughters; Nor to build houses for us to dwell in: neither have we vineyard, nor field, nor seed: But we have dwelt in tents, and have obeyed, and done according to all that Jonadab our father commanded us.
  2. Discuss the purpose of your family with each member of the family. For instance, you must let each person know you are Christians and only Christian virtues must be pursued, possessed and displayed.
  3. Discover the purpose of each member of the family in life and God’s agenda. You must help by the grace and spirit of God as parents what God wanted for each of you and the children. No wonder Rebecca went to discover the purpose of the children in her womb (Gen 26:1-3) and Jacob knew the mission of Joseph hence he made for him a garment of many colours (Gen 37:1-4).
  4. Develop the purpose and vision of the family. You must develop your children in line with their career and purpose of God for them. Your children must grow day by day in agreement with their future in mind; spiritually, academically and physically etc. Abraham was a shepherd, Esau a hunter. David a shepherd the brothers warriors. (I Sam 16:1-13).
  5. Drive the purpose to destination of actualisation by counsel, prayer, rebuke and love. Do you have a purposeful family life?
  6. EXEMPLARY CHRISTIAN LIFE.

Example is better than precept. Apostle Paul said in 1 Cor 11:1 “Be ye followers of me, even as I also am of Christ”. Apostle Paul told Timothy in 2nd Timothy 2:2 “And the things that thou hast heard of me among many witnesses, the same commit thou to faithful men, who shall be able to teach others also”. Hello, can you pray and say to your children that they should say and do what you are doing. This can only be achieved by these ways:

  1. Daily Christian life
  2. Daily Christian purpose
  3. Daily Christian ministry.

Wake up and display the right kind of attitude and character you want your children to emulate.

  1. GODLY DISCIPLINE LIFE

You have to discipline yourself and your children. Heb 12:6-12, Prov 3:11-12 “My son, despise not the chastening of the Lord; neither be weary of his correction: For whom the Lord loveth he correcteth; even as a father the son in whom he delighteth”. Prov 13:24 “He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.” Prov 23:14 “Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.”

However, you should not only beat the child. You can use other corporal punishment and minor ones. But three things are important:

  1. Rebuke with love
  2. Rebuke with intention of correction
  3. Rebuke and restore the child in the way of the Lord.
  4. PAINSTAKING INVESTMENT LIFE:

Please, you must train your children not only rebuking in Prov 22:6 “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Eph 6:4 “And, ye fathers, provoke not your children to wrath: but bring them up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.”  These scriptures means three things:

  1. Invest your time in him/her by living, cleaving and abiding with each other. Don’t be an absent father or mother in the name of looking for money or doing ministry learn from Eli.
  2. Invest your treasure in him/her by giving him/her the best education from creche to university. Education they say is the best legacy or inheritance. Spend your money to train your children and your spouse.
  3. Invest your talent in him/her by leading him/her to do things that will lead to discovery of God’s purpose and fulfilment of life plan for him/her.

In conclusion, if all these fails don’t fail to do these in your family daily – Prayer, counsel and care. Please, show concern, compassion and love with understanding. God will grant us the grace not to fail as parents, children and families. It is well in Jesus name.